Ack Ack's Valentine Date!

Thursday, February 25, 2010


Well, Ack Ack did it - he's gone on a date.

Want the results? Just watch!

Original Posting in December of 2009:

WFAN, the home of all Mets Radio broadcasts, has a whole slew of 20/20 anchors. One of them being Richard Ackerman.

Well, Rich is a lonely fellow, but not for much longer. Regis and Kelly are looking to set Ack-Ack up AND with a woman nonetheless.

Don't believe me? (Why would I make it up?) Take a look for yourself:

For more on the story, click here.

Castillo: "I'm a Professional Guy"

Luis Castillo said he sometimes couldn’t understand the continued calls for him to be traded this offseason despite hitting .302 in 2009. But, he added, he mostly tuned it out. “I heard in the Dominican, but I’m a professional guy,” he said. “I don’t have any control.”

No control? That we know, Luis.

Santana vs. Halladay? Ask the Catcher!

When asked by reporters to name the top starting pitcher in the NL East, Mets lefthander Johan Santana picked ... himself, according to the New York Daily News.

The self-declared "best pitcher" in the NL East might be regularly throwing to a man by the name of Rod Barajas.

This is where it gets interesting.

Rod Barajas caught Roy Halladay for two seasons in Toronto, and he offered this scouting report on Doc: “He was unbelievable. He was prepared, not just mentally but physically. He went into a game and there was no doubt in your mind that he was ready to go. … Even if he’s pitching, on game day during the regular season, he’s the first one there. He’s getting himself prepared whether it’s videos or the weight room. He’s like no one I have ever seen.”

"He's like no one I have ever seen?"

One should hope that "seen" is limited to those pitchers that Barajas caught, since Johan visited Toronto once or twice (and vice versa) when Santana was with the Twins and Barajas was with the Jays. If not, it will have to be kind of awkward when Johan stares in for the Curveball sign, only to see Barajas drop two fingers, inadvertently numbering where Johan slots in on the "NL East Best Pitchers" list.

Awkward for me, at least, because after all, "the best pitcher in the NL East" couldn't give a darn.

Shea Stadium Cufflinks

Tuesday, February 23, 2010 is selling, "Cufflinks manufactured from actual recycled seats from Shea Stadium, home of the New York Mets."

As if I want to remember...?

It continues, "Set in sterling silver and engraved with the ballpark name on the back. Each pair is a number limited edition and includes a certificate of authenticity."

One Cufflink? $75. Oh, you want a pair? $150.

One testimony from a Bill K. reads, "I received these cufflinks after searching far and wide for a pair to wear when I get married. Nothing seemed right, and as a joke with my fiancee I started looking at Mets ones. When I saw the Shea Stadium links, I thought it was a great way to incorporate a great memory (my first baseball game in 1984) without spending $900 on some stadium seats. The cufflinks feel solid, they remind me of Shea and most importantly they were fiancee approved for the wedding!"

Bill K. is rumored to be an alcoholic and divorced.

If you're thinking about getting me a pair, I appreciate it, but I'd rather you give me the $150 cash money, so I can go to a Mets game this year and sit in the upper-deck - alone.

Unless you want to shell out another $150, so I can bring a friend. I don't appreciate the fact that similar cufflinks made from authentic Yankee Stadium seats run for $155 a pair...

...pss: be sure to visit for other time-wasting articles like this one... and to follow the comic on the Twitter, here...

Video: NY Mets starting pitchers practice fielding in spring training drill

Monday, February 22, 2010

Mets pitchers fielding practice

...i particularly love when they shout, "Thatta boy, Ollie," or "Atta Boy, Mike!"...

Why The Yankees Signed Chan Ho Park

I recently sent this footage to Brian Cashman and Company stating, "How can you say no to this guy?"

They reacted by signing Mr. Park to a 1-year, $1.2 million deal. My plan is working.

What To Look Up To

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Fred Wilpon was at Mets' Camp today and explained to the coaching staff that "the team needs to be strong like me. I eat healthy, I jog, I run, and I, sometimes, play tennis on Wii."

Wilpon continued, "It's all about focus and focusing on what to focus."

Fred then went with his son, Jeff, for ice cream around the corner.

This Is Un-Third Of!

Friday, February 19, 2010

I'M APPALLED! I cannot even finish reading the article that is prominently displayed on The words begin "Manager wants Reyes at third." Are you kidding me? It almost makes me want Willie Randolph back! (I said almost). Who in their right mind would put Reyes at third!? He is perfectly fine right where he is! This is insanity. Ludicrous. Appalling!

First of all, it doesn't take a genius to know that Reyes is comfortable playing shortstop so the fact that he is going to have to learn a whole new position in a very short amount of time is mind boggling. Didn't the Mets choose not to have Daniel Murphy play second base because "it wasn't the position he grew up playing"? Why would this strategy not be applied to Jose Reyes? Furthermore, Reyes, in the 6 years he has been with the Mets, has turned dozens beyond dozens of double plays. No other player in the game can snag shots up the middle the way Jose Reyes can. A third baseman is protected by the fact that he has the foul line to his right. Reyes does NOT need that protection. You can leave him at shortstop where he is "vulnerable" on both sides (especially with Castillo on one of them) and he will still make the play. He is known to be, not only a great offensive shortstop, but one of the better defensive shortstops in the league.

There are so many more reasons that this has got to be the dumbest thing that I have ever seen contemplated by a big league manager. Thank the L-rd I did not finish that article or I would've blown another casket just reading about the absolute nonsense that Jerry Manuel spews from day to day. Who would replace Reyes at short? Alex Cora? Anderson Hernandez? They don't come close to the production that the speedy Reyes produces. Will David Wright move over? Will he be content in doing so? Wright received his second gold glove at third base in 2008 so that just adds to the insanity. To be frank, the only time I ever want to see Reyes at third is when he is sliding head first into it as he finishes off one of his oh-so-common triples. If he is wearing any sort of glove (other than a batting glove) then he better be about 25 feet to the left of third base if the Mets don't want another short stop to their post season hopes in 2010.

Posted by Eli @ 2:27 pm

Updated @ 2:33 pm: Aha. Just finished the article on I see. Aha.

Updated @ 2:34 pm: WHAT THE HECK?!? JOSE REYES TO BAT THIRD??? What is Jerry Manuel on!? Reyes is one of the most productive lead off hitters of all time and he wants to give Luis Castillo more opportunities? No! Bat Castillo tenth! I will not have this. When Reyes does go ahead and hit that triple, will it be a mere double because some overweight lead off hitter got held up at third? Will Reyes get 50 less at bats a season because he is now in the number three hole? Apparently, not only did Wilpon lose his money, Manuel, undoubtedly, has lost his mind. follow Eli on Twitter, click here lightly. To receive a comical email from this site every so often, click there, okay, here, and enter your email address...

My Take on the 2010 Mets

Monday, February 15, 2010

It's that time of year again.

The day we have all anticipated - only to realize yet again, that it means nothing

Pitchers and Catchers are reporting, or in the Mets case: Catchers and Catchers.

Understocked in the throwing department, overstocked behind the plate, and with enough Japanese players to have post-game sushi each day, the Mets are ready to roll. (There is a pun on roll & sushi but it is your call if you want to activate it.)

The Mets promised they'd make moves, but I guess they weren't referring to adding or subtracting players. Whether it's the construction of the new Mets' Hall of Fame (Museum), the renovation of Citi Field's bullpen area, the lowering of the Center Field wall, the painting of the stairwells' orange, the proposed Mascot Race during home games - the Wilpons and Company are busy.

Technically, one can deem the bullpen renovation and wall-lowering as on-field moves if he or she is desperate. I choose not to.

"What about the Bay signing?" the critics shout. "Isn't that good for something?"

Well, I guess so, but fans believe, understand and know that the Jason Bay deal was done, and only done, for ticket sales. It is a tad unfair since how can anyone prove that the Wilpons acted mainly with ulterior motive, but the proof is in the food-poisoned pudding. The Mets feature on their website a video starring Jason Bay, with the caption, "The Mets believe they have what it takes this season, so log on to for ticket package plans." Translation: We got who you wanted, now can you buy tickets? Geez.

Sitting on the train today, I was lucky enough to be near a Pirates fan and Nationals fan who were both arguing as to who had the better team going into 2010. It began getting a tad awkward, so I improvised. I told them, "I'm a Mets fan, can you please both stop?"

They consoled me until I got off the train.

It's tough these days to root for a team you can't change, put up with incompetent and money-hungry upper management, and watch season after season how the latter mishandles the injuries of the former.

I believe in comebacks. I believe in winning. And most importantly, I believe in change.

Let's Go Mets!

Where's the Real Luis?

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Upper Deck, as Mets Police reported, 'has a sense of humor.' The photo on the left is their released 2010 card of Luis Castillo. Look familiar, Yankee fans?

Well, the photo on the right, courtesy of Mike Vooss, has a certain addition which makes it all the more apropos.

If you can't find it, then don't worry, it just means you and Luis have something in common.

Radio Interviewer, Hold On A Minute.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The most classic moment in this year's Super Bowl happened on the day after.

On Monday Saints QB Drew Brees joined Colin Cowherd of ESPN Radio and then called back after taking a call from the President.

The nerve.

Result of the Mets Offseason 2

Result of the Mets Offseason

Adding Jason Bay was like putting a pilot into the pictured airship. Good luck with everything, Jerry Manuel. Even this guy is pullin' for ya.

Projected Photo of Mets 2010 Home Opener

Thursday, February 4, 2010

"These days, we see projected stats littered all over the Internet like a spider web waiting to capture its prey," one wise Fantasy player writes. He continues, "But where do they come from? And how do you know that the proper methods and calculations are being used to provide you with the most accurate projected stats and rankings possible?"

The answer? From weeks of mind-numbing number crunching, checking hundreds of websites, software tools, and magazines that are out there, one can get a great idea of a player or team's projected stats for the upcoming season.

But I, Eli, have taken it to a whole new level.

I have gone where no man has gone before. I have done what some would deem impossible. I have projected, based on stealing phone call logs into Citi Field, discussing ticket sales with die-hard Mets fans who are almost dead, crunching numbers that were once crunched, eating healthy (which has no connection whatsoever to the task at hand), an image of what Citi Field will look like, from the Pepsi Porch, during the 3rd inning of the Mets 2010 home opener:

Disclaimer: This photo might be off by a fan or two, or even three, but remember it's only a 'projected photo.' And no, the fans are not all wearing camouflage green.

Remembering 2009; then forgetting it

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

It's February, it's cold and there is no baseball to be seen. Unless you count 2009 Mets Highlights. Yeah, believe it or not, there were actually some.

Clicking on this link will allow you to explore (let it roll by itself) the high's of the 2009 Metropolitan season, even if some of them will make you scratch your head.

The sweep of the Astros to end the season? HUGE!

Mets Make Yet Another Comical Move

Monday, February 1, 2010

In an effort to bolster the entire team, while saving boat-loads of cash, the New York Mets announced today, the acquisitions of 9 new everyday players. After undergoing much scrutiny over the quiet off-season Omar Minaya decided to make a brash and bold move by getting a whole new squad to take the field on opening day. 'How is this possible?' you may ask. How can the entire team be uprooted in just one day? What will happen to the so-called cornerstones of our franchise (David Wright and Jose Reyes)? How can Omar do something so stupid that only Omar is capable of doing?

Well, my esteemed followers, yesterday, Omar Minaya sat down with Frank Caliendo and Frank wanted to play ball. He convinced Omar that he was Albert Puljos, Joe Mauer, Dustin Pedroia, Evan Longoria, Ichiro, Hanley Ramirez, Ryan Braun, and Matt Holliday with his impersonations. "You're signed," Omar responded.

And yes, he did not have to take a physical.