Jerry Not-The-Man-uel

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Tell me if there's something wrong with me.

Actually, tell me if there's something wrong with Jerry Manuel.

We all know what the Mets are going through these days. We're the fans - of course we know; we're going through it too. But the worst thing to hear (besides "half your team is on the DL") is a hint that your manager might be giving up, losing faith or lacking heart.

Today on Twitter, David Lennon of Newsday wrote, "Manuel said he's had 1 July 4 BBQ in the past 25 years. But laughed, 'I might be BBQ'ing at this time next year.' "

First of all, why the mockery? If you want to belittle the work that you have accomplished this season, that's fine but do it behind closed doors when you're reading Ghandi's book for the 37th time; don't tell me that. Frankly, I don't want to hear it. Secondly, I understand it was for comical purposes but no one wants to listen to their manager hint to the fact that perhaps, this year might not be the most promising year for the team. You can be blunt, but where is the hope? Where is the 'believe'?

So technically, Jerry, you're wrong. BBQ? Next year? You, my friend, were fried a long, long time ago.

But seriously, thanks! Way to keep positive!

Not.

Loser... Loser... Chicken Dinner

Yahoo reported this past Thursday that "Scott Boras' car was attacked outside a California restaurant." Boras had a chicken dinner at the Bandera Restaurant and returned to a disturbing scene in the parking lot after his meal. His Land Rover (not a Range Rover?) bore signs of a brutal assault, with damage to the windshield and driver's side window.



Someone used an unknown hard, long object (a bat would be appropriate) during the assault, but police are short on other leads. If they hope to crack the case, they'll probably need to start working in shifts as there is no shortage of people with an ax to grind -- or window to break -- when it comes to Boras.

The List

You've got the management of every team in Major League Baseball, although there's probably good reason to start with the Washington Nationals. We're not sure how the Stephen Strasburg negotiations have been progressing, but the mob has always found that a few well-timed broken windows have helped them seal deals on their preferred terms.

Manny Ramirez may still be holding a grudge over turning down that four-year, $100 million contract in light of his 50 games of lost wages this season.

Mets fans must be loving the Oliver Perez signing right now - 36 million dollars to play in their minor league system. Boy, that's great.

In 2007, Andruw Jones agreed to a two-year deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers, worth $36.2 million. The Dodgers do want their money back.

The other 385 agents in baseball.
There's a bright side to this whole sordid episode. Boras was able to negotiate a $2,000 claim with his insurance company, even though no one thought there was more than $700 in damage. He also got a no trade-in clause and six free detailings.

It's Never A Good Sign...

Friday, July 3, 2009

It's never a good sign when your pitcher has yet to don the team jersey and is slotted in to start that night's game for you. Especially mid-season.

It's never a good sign when your advertising the Colorado Rockies on your website and your the Philadelphia Phillies.

It's never a good sign when a minor-league associate for your club can't have a spare Phillies' cap and jersey lying around when taking a quick photo for your minor league team...

...That photo could've helped Rodrigo Lopez and the Phillies.

Today, on the Phillies website, this picture is prominently being displayed, informing us of tonight's starting pitchers.


You would think they just grabbed this guy from the Rockies yesterday. Actually, according to MLB, Lopez signed a Minor League deal with the Phillies at the end of Spring Training after they watched him pitch in the World Baseball Classic. You'd think they'd work out some time for a quick photo shoot? Hmm, obviously not.

I guess it's never a good sign to be associated with the Philadelphia Phillies.

Only Worry 'Bout The New York Mess

Anthony DiComo of MLB Blogs writes, "After this weekend's series at Citizens Bank Park, the Mets will have played 81 games, the exact midpoint of their season."

"This weekend is a critical juncture. If the Mets can win one of three in Philadelphia -- and they arguably have the advantage in all three pitching matchups -- then they're a good bet to head into the All-Star Break within close range of the Phillies. And that's just if they can win one of three. If they can win or even sweep the series, they could potentially be in first place through 81 games."

....Mr. DiComo fails to recognize the fact that the Marlins sit in 1st place as well, while the Braves are in back and ready to pounce with a well put together winning streak. Now I'm not saying the Marlins and the Braves can compete with the Mets & Phillies if the latter two are at full strength; but the problem is - they're not.... Basically, we can't worry 'bout the other teams and how well (or poorly) they are playing... We have to take care of our own (yes, Ray Ramirez, I'm talking to you too) and the rest will take care of itself...

Are The Mets Releasing Their Mascot?

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Mr. Met already has enough to worry about when his team is in town, what with fans disgracing his wholesome image, drunkenly attacking him to the point that he's ready to snap. Now the poor guy's going to pick up the papers today and be as green as the team's commemorative St. Paddy's jerseys when he finds out that his Amazins have been canoodling with a whole throng of other mascots while on their road trip down in Pittsburgh.

According to multiple news sources, it turns out that the team happens to be staying at the same hotel as Anthrocon, a festival of furries. And how did goofily grinning cat get let out of the bad? Where all big sports stories are broken these days—Twitter, of course. SNY's on-field reporter, Kevin Burkhardt, tweeted last night, "Our hotel in Pitt is overrun by people dressed up as animals. Anthrocon? And they act as animals. I have seen it all and I am freaked out." He went on to tweet about meeting Ralph Wiggam as a beaver (with Twitpic naturally) and how we was "so disturbed I can't go to sleep." Burkhardt's sense of shock is a little surprising, given that he's a Jersey Shore native.

Now before fans (and possible divorcee Mr. Met) get any ideas that the team may be down in Pittsburgh taking a look at other mascots, one must consider the fact that this was a one night stopover and nothing more than just plain old furry love. Anthrocon's website says, "If you as an adult still occasionally like to flip to the old cartoons, or have a stuffed animal sitting on the dashboard of your car, or buy cereal because it has a cool tiger on the box, you may well enjoy what our fandom has to offer."

Still, we have our suspicions about Met reliever Bobby Parnell telling a reporter, "The first thing I saw coming down the elevator this morning was a fox." Either way, this can't be making it any easier for Mr. Met's struggle to find some zzz's at this new home.

For the real hilarity, thanks to SportsByBrooks, let's take a look at this transcript of a conversation between Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez during the game on SNY just a couple of hours ago:

Gary: “The strangest convention I’ve ever seen is at our hotel here in Pittsburgh. You know, we travel around the country and you see parts of our society and our culture that you never would have encountered anywhere else. There are a group of people, about 4,000 strong, convening in Pittsburgh this week, people that dress up as stuffed animals.”

Keith: “They’re cuddly bears. They like to cuddle.”

Gary: “Bears, birds, dogs, wolves.”

Keith: “What are they called? Farriors?”

Gary: “Here’s the 0-2 …”

Keith: “All I know is I got in the elevator with four of them and the odor was horrific. I had to get off. I was on the 17th floor going down and I had to jump out at the 10th floor, I almost passed out.”

Gary: “Those costumes don’t breathe very well.”

Gary: “It was something, we got to the hotel last night coming from Milwaukee last night and there’s a person in a wolf costume, and there was another in a dog costume.”

Keith: “I saw a guy with his pet beaver, and he was stroking it, petting it. “

*LONG PAUSE*

Keith: “Serious. It was like a stuffed animal and he was comforting it. Very bizarre.”

Gary: “Different world.”



The Furries reportedly left the elevator on the 10th floor as well, confusing Keith's mustache for their mascot leader's, Mr. Red.

Manuel's Crazy New Idea

With Tim Redding on early leave in today's game and Pat Misch checking the temperature of his shower, Jerry Manuel did something, according to Eli's Sports Bureau, that was uncharacteristic and very past Jerry's norm.

A person following the game on GameDay had to do a double look when he saw who was pitching to Paul Maholm in the 4th inning:



But don't think that was the only wild thing we got to see in today's game. Apparently, the skies got darker a lot earlier than they had hoped. Here is, thanks again to GameDay, a real shot from the bottom of the 4th:



Nuts, I know.

The Dust Collectors' Edition

Thanks to Mets Police for snapping this picture in the Mets Team Store:



I would love to know their inventory turnover on the Dan Warthen jersey's. Do they sell one a week? A month? I cannot recall the last time I saw a Warthen jersey worn by a fan at a game. Does that mean the one Mets-Pitching-Coach-Wanna-Be - who actually bought the #59 Jersey - is sitting at home and writing out each and every pitch in his book?

Well, the only guy who fits that description (yearns to be the Mets' Pitching Coach and loves to jot down each pitch) is the same person who has no need for a Warthen jersey since he never removes his jacket...

...and besides, why would Rick Peterson want to don Dan's garb if Rick now works for the Rays?

In other words, I'll wait for the jersey to go on sale when Warthen is, inevitably, replaced.

Are the Mets on the Road to Nowhere?

Magic bus? Jerry Manuel’s decree that the New York Mets all share a ride to the ballpark Wednesday morning in Milwaukee probably beat the alternative – 25 players, 25 cabs. At least it reduced the chances of anyone repeating the recent experience of injured shortstop Jose Reyes, who was rear-ended by a fire truck on the Robert F. Kennedy Bridge while driving with trainer Ray Ramirez to a doctor’s appointment.

And for one day, anyway, the Mets took an offramp from the road to perdition behind pitcher Mike Pelfrey, who had no say in the team’s mode of transportation. Pelfrey had been excused ahead of the team meeting called Tuesday night by Manuel, groping for ways to end a five-game skid that sent the team careening to a 9-18 record in June, the Mets’ worst month in almost six years.

“I told him that if he’d been at the meeting,” Manuel told reporters after Pelfrey went 7 2/3 scoreless innings in a 1-0 win Wednesday over the Brewers, “he’d have thrown a no-hitter.”

Pelfrey came up big the day after the team’s ace, Johan Santana, not only was whacked around by the Brewers, giving up a mammoth home run to Prince Fielder, but also succumbed to the daft way the Mets have been playing with alarming regularity. Santana’s wild throw to third while backing up home, which followed closely on the heels of shortstop Alex Cora’s errant relay throw, enabled Ryan Braun to make a complete circuit on what is charitably called a Little League home run.

The team’s epidemic of injuries is no match for the number of self-inflicted casualties that have afflicted the Mets (Ryan Church missing third base, Luis Castillo’s dropped popup, Daniel Murphy’s botched fly ball, K-Rod walking Mariano Rivera). And Manuel rightly – if not belatedly – decided that the survivors had to throw away the crutch of missing their crippled stars.

“We have enough here,” Manuel said in a call to accountability that was appealing in its directness, even if the premise might be challenged by any sober look at the Mets’ roster.

Indeed, it represented a reversal by the manager himself, who during the weekend debacle against the Yankees, when asked if the team needed to trade for help, said: “It would be dishonest if I said no.”

But help, if it is to come, appears more dependent on the emptying of hospital wards than a major trade by general manager Omar Minaya, for a reason not likely to appease Mets fans whose patience already has been frayed to the breaking point by late-season collapses the last two years.

The Mets don’t have much to offer in a deal, especially for teams looking for immediate help, and aren’t inclined to give up the few prospects they have, such as right-hander Bobby Parnell, whom Washington asked for in trade talks for first baseman Nick Johnson. Parnell almost certainly came up in the conversations the Mets had with Cleveland about Mark DeRosa before the Indians traded DeRosa to the Cardinals for another right-handed reliever with a mid-90s fastball, Chris Perez.

One major league scout assigned to the Mets farm system said he found little of interest on a recent visit to Triple-A Buffalo outside of pitchers Jonathon Niese and Eddie Kunz, and they both need more seasoning. The best prospect, centerfielder Fernando Martinez, already has been promoted to the big leagues, though his stay may be short-lived, depending on what the Mets elect to do when Angel Pagan comes back in a couple weeks from groin injury.

The numbers bear out the scout’s analysis. Buffalo began Wednesday night 23 games under .500, having hit a league-low 38 home runs in 75 games and ranking 11th in staff ERA.

Double-A Binghamton, the scout said, is mediocre, and he still shudders at the memory of his visit last season to watch the team’s Class-A affiliate in the Florida State League, the Port St. Lucie Mets, whom he called the worst minor league team he watched all year.

Baseball America ranked the Mets’ farm system 17th among the majors’ 30 clubs, but much of the promising talent – shortstop Wilmer Flores, pitcher Brad Holt (recently promoted to Binghamton), third baseman Jefry Marte – are still in the lower minors. Part of the shortage stems from two major Minaya deals of recent vintage – shipping four prospects to the Twins for Santana last year, and parting with seven players in the three-team deal that netted reliever J.J. Putz, now among the wounded – as well as a willingness to surrender draft picks for free agents. The supplemental pick the Red Sox received as compensation from the Mets for losing Pedro Martinez, for example, became top prospect Clay Buchholz, who already has a no-hitter in the big leagues.

Minaya last weekend said finding another bat is a priority, but that with so many teams still believing they’re in contention, the pickings remain slim a month before the trading deadline. So, the Mets seek to survive until the big guns are healthy and the pitching staff is replenished. Hard to do when Manuel is forced to use Murphy, whose instincts are suspect even at positions where he is comfortable, at first base, where he played just a handful of games in the minors. Alex Cora is a splendid backup infielder, but exposed when he is placed at Reyes’ spot at the top of the order. Gary Sheffield still has life in his 40-year-old bat, but his knees are in ever-present danger of crumbling. And on it goes.

So the bus, more often than not, remains idling. The Mets received good news this week when they learned center fielder Carlos Beltran doesn’t need knee surgery and should be back around the All-Star break. Reyes and starting pitchers Oliver Perez and John Maine are expected back within that same time frame.

But the road doesn’t get easier before the Mets pull into the All-Star rest stop. There’s a weekend showdown with the first-place Phillies, followed by a visit from the Dodgers, who boast the majors’ best record.

Yellow submarine, anyone?

(Kudos to Gordon Edes for writing this article)

Good Questions; Better Answers; Bigger Ego

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


After the game Tuesday evening, Eli sat down with some of the blog fans and answered they're die-hard questions.

Here are some details of what took place:


Convo # 1

ReliableJon asked: When will Tatis get a day off?

Eli: Tatis? A day off? When did he ever play?

Convo # 2

Eli predicted a no hitter from Johan Santana tonight.

In the 2nd inning when Santana gave up his first hit, Schwedels was kind enough to write, "
Eli, there goes ur no no."

After the horrid 4th inning, Eli responded, "
My No-No? I'm pretty sure I got my no-no. Those were the exact words I was screaming to the TV during the previous inning..."

Convo # 3

TheWario asked, "Mr. Brooklyn, do you think Jerry Manuel, Razor Shines and Dan Warthen will all be fired this year, and if so - who would take their place?

Eli: Me, me, and oh, me.

TheWario: Seriously...

Eli: Seriously.

TheWario: I hate you, Eli.

Convo # 4

Waiter: Sir, either order or leave the restaurant. You can't just use our WiFi.

Eli orders.

Convo # 5

Skeptic Al: I enjoy your humor. What made you decide to start a Mets blog?

Eli: Well, being that I had time between body building, helping out the community and wedding crashing, I felt that it was only appropriate to start a Mets blog.

Skeptic Al: I see no correlation in that. But either way, keep it up!

Eli: Gee, thanks, Al. What do you do on your spare time?

Skeptic Al: (place really long and boring answer here)

Convo # 6

MattClausen: Think we should go grab Rios from Toronto?

Eli: Nah, he's got an attitude problem and besides - Toronto will notice he's missing.

Convo # 7

lenno213: Do you think the Mets will ever win a game again?

Eli: Moral victories do not show up in the standings but they mean a lot to the elderly fans. Does that count?

Have a question for Eli? Leave a comment here or just send a tweet!

Seriously.