The Jewish Jets

Monday, September 28, 2009

This video was on the bottom of my Great Sports Videos pile. It's very applicable for yesterday and still rings true. Did I mention it's funny too?

Sports Videos, News, Blogs

Shmully Jackson ran for 125 yards and had 46 receiving yards this past Sunday. He collected 2 TD's on the day and won the "Jewish Player of the Week" award from the Young Israel of Harlem.

Mazel Tov, Shmully.

The Race for Last Place

Thursday, September 24, 2009

That's enticing! writes on their homepage, "The Reds can make it four straight wins; the Pirates try to stay ahead of the Nationals in the NL standings."

I would doubt that even a Reds/Pirates fan would care to see a stat like this. "The Pirates try to stay ahead of the Nationals in the NL standings"? Are you for real? It should have just stated: "Pirates try not to fall to last place in baseball" or "The Reds are not as bad as the Bengals - Watch!"

Also seen is: "Reds aim for sweep of Bucs in MLB.TV exclusive". I wonder what the ratings for something like this is. 2.4 (people)? Let's put it this way: If that game is being watched by anyone other than a person in their parent's basement then they should be just as embarrassed at the fact that their Reds or Pirates fans to begin with...

And what about those Mets fans who have decided to hate on during a horrible Metropolitan season?

Uh, for that, I have no comment...

And besides, my mom is calling me to come upstairs.

Reyes is Taking Second! The Second Chair on the Right, That Is.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Doing 90 on the FDR in Manhattan, I was thinking...

If a current Mets player was an announcer or the play by play guy for the team - who would do a stellar/poor job and why?

I immediately thought of Luis Castillo and how he would call in sick every other day, as well as, Oliver Perez announcing but just "not getting it right." (Jon Sterling, anyone?)

I then thought of Paul Lo Duca (okay, he's not current, fiine) and how he'd get upset when the intern would mess up his coffee or when Keith would overstroke his mustache.

How about Lastings Milledge (not current either, I know!) slapping five with the fans after executing a wonderful home run call? Or Nick Evans going back and forth between Mets broadcasts and Cyclones broadcasts due to poor performances.

I even thought of Daniel Murphy switching from the main announcing position to do the commentaries...

Ah, yes, the brain at 90 mph.

Let's not forget Carlos Beltran calling every game from within his seat (bad knees) and John Maine's sudden and mysterious dissappearances for long periods of time...

Jerry Manuel belly-laughing at opposing team's errors and Dan Warthen inching his glasses closer to his eyes to get a better look. Rick Peterson rarely taking off his jacket in the booth and Shawn Green's hat (the Jewish one) falling off when a web gem play presents itself in the field.

I've tailed away from the previously mentioned "current" and "players" but, as you can see, there is a lot to play around with...

Just wait until we discuss the announcers roles and miscues when they became the players. Besides for Keith and Ron, of course.

P.S: I still think Gary Cohen ought to do a Just For Men's commercial one of these days...

Just by the way.

Mike'd Down

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Mike Francesa has been on vacation. For perhaps, too long.

On Tuesday, Francesa, back from the beach, opened his show with news from this past January. Yes, we kid you not. Either the sun got to the 55 year old Italian man or he's just been out of sports talk radio for way too long.

This is how Mike Francesa began his show:

Take another month off, Michael. You need it.

Something ALL Met Fans Are Thinking About......

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Here is an article by Rick Reily, which you can apply to your New york Metropolitans.


As you know, operators are standing by here to solve all your sports questions, up to and including whether Joe Paterno voted for Lincoln.

Here's today's:

Dear Rick,
I was hoping you could settle a moral dilemma I am having. I have been a Broncos fan since the early '90s. I still think Mike Shanahan is a genius, and have always disliked anything stemming from the Belichick tree. I was also a big Jay Cutler fan. At what point does it become OK to disown a team when you feel they are no longer headed in the right direction? Can you be considered a fair-weather fan if you root for the Bears? -- Amery Curtis, San Diego

Dear Amery,

No, you would not be a fair-weather fan.

You wouldn't be any kind of fan. You'd be the kind of hairball that hairballs cough up. You would be lower than the crawl space under a flounder's basement.

You can't just bolt your team because you think it's going to suck. (Which the Broncos are. There is no debating that. They are going to lose more than France. Just because you worked under Bill Belichick and you wear your sweatshirt like Bill Belichick does not mean you are Bill Belichick.)

Your team is like your dog. You cannot just leave it because it's getting a limp and stares at the tennis ball you just threw.

You cannot just disown your team because it's going to start getting beaten like Denny's eggs.

Or because it signed somebody you hate or traded somebody you love.

Nor can you just up and bounce because you married Matthew Stafford's sister.

Or because you got transferred to another city.

Or because your team went 0–16 or couldn't beat a group of Lutheran ministers or has an owner who wears bad bow ties and wouldn't know a coffin corner from a coffee can.

Nor can you leave because your boys got caught cheating. In fact, you should feel shame. Their insecurity in trying to hang on to your fickle fandom caused them to cheat in the first place.

Your team is not a girlfriend. You are with it through thick and thin. Or, in the case of the Pittsburgh Pirates, through thin and thin. You must buck up and take the Ortons with the Cutlers. In sum: Grow a pair.

In fact, there are only 10 Officially Sanctioned Reasons You Can Abandon Your Lifelong Team for Another. There are these and only these. Everybody else needs to just drink their beer and shut up:

1. You actually play for that new team. In this case, you must still wear the cup of your old team during games.

2. You purchased that new team. However, you must have had a damn good reason for purchasing a rival. Michael Jordan can buy a piece of the Charlotte Bobcats because the Charlotte Bobcats can't win if locked in a gym with three pygmies. But if Jordan bought the Detroit Pistons? Bonfires of Air Jordans everywhere.

3. Your team hired male cheerleaders.

4. Your town's law enforcement permanently banned you from coming within 500 feet of your team's players, staff or stadium. Sure, sure, we know it was all a big misunderstanding. You were parked outside Peyton Manning's house with a telescope and three months of detailed charts because you are his personal astrologist.

5. Your spouse cheated on you with somebody from your team. With a starter, not some backup, coach or crappy PR intern. And you had to find out by some stomach-turning means, such as skywriting.

6. Your team is approaching its 50th year of one-family ownership and still hasn't won diddly. This is known as The Darwin Rule and allows you to escape, free of charge. Good example: The Fords of Detroit. No wonder 10 of the 22 declared NFL fan free agents at are ex-Lions fans.

Rule 6b. Your owner still wears Members Only jackets. His initials are Al Davis.

7. Your team's home games are no longer televised. You are free to go, Jags fans.

8. Your team folded or left town. In this case, you are automatically an unrestricted fan free agent and can immediately put yourself up for bid. A writer named Scott Soshnick did this recently with every big-four franchise. Only nine wrote back. But one -- the Golden State Warriors -- had 28 employees send him we-want-you e-mails, mailed him a jersey with his name on it, sent a DVD with rookies wearing that jersey, signed him to a $1 lifetime contract and wrote a mock press release announcing a new fan acquisition.

9. Your team changed its uniforms to teal.

10. Your team is the Cubs. Seriously. Go already.

If you have an idea of your own, about your Mets, feel free to leave a comment....

Sell the Mets... Sell the Mets...

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

For all those Harry Potter fans out there, it is known that no one likes a Rita Skeeter. Skeeter is a witch who writes tell-all biographies and works as a reporter for the Daily Prophet. Skeeter's writing tends to be sensationalist, and sometimes outright dishonest.

For all those Yankee fans out there, it is known that no one likes Selena Roberts.

Wait, let's correct that:

For all those A-Rod fans out there, it is known that no one likes Selena Roberts.

So, whom do the Mets fans have?

Well, as written on The Star Ledger's website under the upcoming video, "Dave Howard, the Mets' executive vice president of business operations, went on Fox Business Network on Monday to shoot down the claims of author Erin Arvedlund, who said Friday that owner Fred Wilpon would be forced to sell the team because of losses related to the Bernie Madoff scheme. Former Mets GM Jim Duquette also appeared on the program, after criticizing the Mets on his radio show Sunday.'

So the lady's name is Erin Arvedlund; a Rita Skeeter if I ever saw one.

Either way, I happen to think Dave Howard is lying but that's my own opinion. Why would he get so mega-defensive if not? Is he trying to show off to the Wilpons? Is he having a bad year?

Welcome to the party, Dave.