Mets Make Yet Another Comical Move

In an effort to bolster the entire team, while saving boat-loads of cash, the New York Mets announced today, the acquisitions of 9 new everyday players. After undergoing much scrutiny over the quiet off-season Omar Minaya decided to make a brash and bold move by getting a whole new squad to take the field on opening day. 'How is this possible?' you may ask. How can the entire team be uprooted in just one day? What will happen to the so-called cornerstones of our franchise (David Wright and Jose Reyes)? How can Omar do something so stupid that only Omar is capable of doing?

Well, my esteemed followers, yesterday, Omar Minaya sat down with Frank Caliendo and Frank wanted to play ball. He convinced Omar that he was Albert Puljos, Joe Mauer, Dustin Pedroia, Evan Longoria, Ichiro, Hanley Ramirez, Ryan Braun, and Matt Holliday with his impersonations. "You're signed," Omar responded.

And yes, he did not have to take a physical.