Bruce All-Fighty

Sunday, February 15, 2009


"You never write anything pleasant about the Mets," I was accused.

Bruce from Bayside, Queens writes in:
"Don't you have anything nice to say? You're always whining. It's practically as though you will never be happy with the team so why do you even bother? There are a lot of other writers who actually write NICE things and remember the GOOD times. You? Never."

I wouldn't have taken notice to such a cruel (and slightly accurate) comment but whenever someone indirectly calls me a 'Jet fan,' I take it personally. Do I really complain that much? Do I make the Mets sound worse off than they really are? Well, if so, that accusation can be counteracted with some happy thoughts now, can't it?

Here is a list of all the positive things happening in Queens:
1) The chances of the Mets collapsing 3 years in a row are real slim. Really really slim. I think.
2) Jersey sales are expected to be higher than the previous 2 years (and that was due to recalls claiming that the jerseys were "choking hazards"). Go figure.
3) Endy Chavez did make a nice catch. Twice.
4) Aaron who?
5) We one-handedly took on the responsibility of supporting 35% of Minor League Baseball. That's commendable.
6) Yup. Heilman gets another shout out. I am really excited about that move. (On a similar note, I would say the Curse of the Cubs has now been lifted. As the story goes, The Billy Goat curse was supposedly placed on the Cubs in 1945 when Billy Goat Tavern owner Billy Sianis was asked to leave a World Series game at the Cubs' home ground of Wrigley Field because his pet goat's odor was bothering other fans. With the acquisition of Mr. Heilman, the Goat has regained entry. Chicago Cubs? 2009 World Series Champions.)
7) Murphy ('s law)
8) Pedro! (Paid...Now Go!)
9) Felipe Alou is NOT going to be our everyday left fielder anymore. (Not that he ever was. Good luck with the knees.)
10) Yes, I know it was Moises. It's a joke. Sheesh.
11) reports "Hernandez is on the Mets". Livan? Keith? El Duque? Spare us! (Happy thoughts!...right...right...I'm sorry).
12) Jose Reyes might bat third. (Um, why is that a good thing?)
13) We re-signed Jose Valentin! Rumor has it that Julio Franco might rejoin the club so I think we'll be all set then.
14) Oliver Perez was quoted by The Tampa Tribune as saying, "Tell the Phillies - we are the team to beat up on." I don't know what is worse. Having him speak English or having him speak at all. Just pitch Oli, like a good boy. Shhh....Quiet....Good.

Is that good enough, Bruce? I was going to come up with more happy thoughts but I gotta go watch K-Rod in the World Baseball Classic. G-d knows he's going to pull something or other.

Long live 1986!


chaim k said...

ok buddy , saffer tells me to go to this blog... but let me start off by saying i am the original eli from brooklyn... in matter of factlast week a high school kid from cb tells me that i have been taken over by a new eli from brooklyn!! i was calling smooze when he was on the overnight!! so calm the down!

anyway mets wont do anything this year with the same choking offense of the past 2 years....

but you have a good sense of humor good luck on the blog.. ia ctually tried in the past but its hard to get many readers elik

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Remember Michael Jordan? Yeah, he is a thing of the past. Welcome in Lebron. A.K.A. - The NEW Eli from Brooklyn.

Thanks for the kind words :)
Come back soon.

The Big Show said...

Eli is not a hater of his team .He is just a realistic met fan

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Amen to that. But we might win the East this year... We just might. We only lost it by two games to the Phillies. We addressed the bullpen in the off-season so that let's say, accounts for 5 games (minimum). Coming in with the same offense, and the Phillies having a slightly worse offense (Ibanez is not as good as Burrell) - I like our chances.

wario said...

ELI with all do respect to your mets and baseball knowledge, how can you say that the bullpen only accounted for 5 games..... even if minimum is in ()? for Johan alone they lost 7 games!!!! just fathem this yr when johan wins 25 gms and brings he CY young home to citi!!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... our offense was never really the issue, it always came down to pitching...... and now with KEEL-TEE, our offense is in the RIGHT hands! ok ok so what if he is in the minors and hasent played in a while.. but when mr. church sustainsn his 12th concusion of this season he should be in good shape to start contributing, another right hand bat off the bench is a plus..... onto other news:the cubs feel they have a better chance to win the world series this yr now that they have a better team. lets remind the cubs who they picked up for their bulpen, non other then our aaron heilman!!!! the number one met in jersey sales the last 3 yrs!! so what if ppl only bought them to burn them! good luck chicago!! youll need it..... now there will be a more hated person in chicago than steve bartman!

wario said...

to chacha: i mean elifrombrookly: how many players can the mets asign to the minors anyway? is it a enlesss amount that the mets are taking advantage of or is more like, if your a player who is over 40 and or a player who used to be good 10 yrs ago, and or a player of hispanic ancestry who omar once had on the expos, that can get a free pass to the minors?

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Attention Wario: In regards to your question of "How can you say that the bullpen only accounted for 5 games last year..." - I did not say that. In my count of "5 Games," I included this years blown saves (meaning let us say that the bullpen blows 5 LESS GAMES) (and I said "minimum" to say that let us say we have 24 blown saves as opposed to last years 29, which anyway I think will be less than 24 - PLEASE L-RD). And in response to "how many players can be assigned to the minors" - it is unlimited. LOL to over 40 years old/ good 10 yrs ago / hispanic...

It is a good thing Jose Lima is not reading this.

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Correction: Jose Lima was never good.

chaim k said...

BREAKING NEWS mets going after oil can boid, i was just forgetting about el duke and omar signs livan ENOUGH OF THE OLD ****!

speshel said...

hello all and welcome to me!
i'm the most optimistic met fan in the world, and eventhough i've been thru some torture in the past couple of yrs(i was at glavine's 7 run first inning 2 years ago,BRUTAL)i still think we got the goods this year. let me explain: the rotation is just as good if not better without pedro, the back of the bullpen is stronger than your great aunt's goulash, and we have enough offense without manny "the clown" ramirez. don't get me wrong, i'd love to have manny, but because of madoff we're just not gonna get any big guns anytime soon. all in all, don't get so down in the dumps eli, cuz we gonna beat philly, chicago, and anyone else who stands between us and our third W.S. victory!

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Now I know why Speshel is called "special". Although your optimism is appreciated, it would probably be best to see your local physician just to make sure. Mets in '09! (3009, that is).

wario said...

you love jose lima!!! mmmmmmmmmmm

Mitch said...

Go Dolphins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!