Game-Changing? Name-Changing!

Friday, March 27, 2009

The Date: November 7th, 2007.
The Place: Downtown St. Petersburg, Florida
The Reason: To Celebrate the Official Name Changing of The Devil Rays

Trying to reinvent itself, what once was a perennial last-place team officially shortened its nickname to simply "Rays" during a celebration that brought a crowd of about 7,000 to a downtown park a year and a half ago.

New team colors and uniforms were also unveiled during a fashion show featuring current players. Navy blue and light blue had replaced green and black as the primary colors. The club's new logo, as well as the home and road uniforms for that upcoming season, feature the word "Rays" in navy blue lettering with a light blue shadow.

The Result: A Trip To The World Series.

Now I don't believe in HeeBeeJeeBee stuff all that much but there is definitely something to this one. They dropped the "devil" from within and WALA! - They earn themselves a pennant. Granted the "Rays" does not sound nearly as fierce as the "Devil Rays" but sometimes "manning up" is all about manning down.

We all know what took place the past 3 seasons. I need not spell it out for you. (Just in case you don't: C-O-L-L-P-A-S-E & H-E-A-R-T-B-R-E-A-K). But what if the Mets did the same thing? What if they sounded a whole lot less manly (and thereby maybe causing their opponents to think that they're not a force to contend with)? Well, before we discuss some names that might fit the bill, let's prove our point with another sport.

Since Football is a tough, man-tackling, hit-crunching, QB-sacking sport, it would only make sense for a team to use the opposite strategy and change their name or logo to more of a scary theme.

Darren Everson, of The Wall Street Journal, writes:

Could this be what the 0-16 Detroit Lions need to restore the roar -- a sharper, angrier logo? This rumored revamp, which features detailed eyes and teeth, briefly appeared this week on a toy truck on (A Lions spokesman neither confirmed nor denied whether this is the new logo.) NFL history has repeatedly demonstrated the power of meaner mascots: The Denver Broncos won Super Bowls in 1998 and 1999 after unveiling a sleek horse-head logo. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the Super Bowl in 2003 a few years after switching from a dashing pirate to a skull and crossed swords. And the Arizona Cardinals gave its old logo a tougher frown in 2005, and the team reached its first Super Bowl this season.

Baseball is our national past time. No wonder the Pirates have not won since the 30's. This sport is not about mean grimaces and nasty tattoos. It's about enjoying ourselves and still not needing a shower. It's about catching a ball in 85 degree weather in a luscious outfield, not catching a cold in below-zero temperatures at Lambeau Field.

So there you have it. No need to fix a horrendous bullpen. No point in hiring the best pitcher in baseball. And we certainly shouldn't spend $4 million on a second baseman by the name of Orlando Hudson (oh wait, we didn't do that). What it is about is convincing the other team that we are as sissy sounding as they come and then maybe, and just maybe, we will win one or two more games that will be just enough to get us into a Fall Classic.

So what should it be? What will be our "removing of the devil?" (Sorry Angel Pagan. You were removed even if you were not the devil).

The New York Mess? That might do the trick.
The New Jersey Mets? Okay, I didn't say brain-dead. I said "wimpy."
The New York Pathetics? That would be the Islanders. Correct.
The New York Shmeffs? They do get smoked alot.
The New York Sweats? Who hasn't shvitzed their way thru a 9 inning game, huh?
The New York MMMets? If only they deserved that title.
The New York Debts? After Bernie Madoff... (Lol, I love this one. Thanks Wario).
The New York Vets? For all those aging veterans.
The New York Zets? Give that ball ah zets (for Jewish Night).
The New York Cents? After Bernie Madoff... (#2)

Do you have any other names that we can use to perhaps catch lightning in a bottle? LET US KNOW! The Rays had 100's of names to choose from before deciding on the 'Rays'. We're open to all ideas. Anything to win...

Whatever the team decides to change its name to, let's hope we see a little less this:

And a little more this:

Anytime the game ends with someone hitting a home run off Armando Benitez - I'm there! I didn't know the Mets were picked up by the Fox Channel. Good to know. What's the deal with the apple being suspended 55 feet in mid air? Even weirder, Jose Reyes was the only one who met Delgado when he came around to score. It's a walk-off homer for G-d sakes! This all leads me to believe that something in this video is not real.

10 days left......Let's Go Mess!


wario said...



The NY Metro's.... they go both (ways win or lose)

The NY jets... better for jersey sales

The NY Bagets…. Mmmmmmm


The NY dents… after shea

The NY Vents… that’s all the fans do in September

The NY Yets… Yet to win?

NY Warios…. (just tried to slip that one in)

haraz31 said...

Very Clever article

Skeptic Al said...

Great piece Eli!

Anything other than this is a complete waste of time.

NY Stem's
NY Snatiloportem's

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Lol, Al. How long did it take you to write the names backwards? Get back to work.

Thanks Guys.

Skeptic Al said...

This team needs a complete 180. What could tell you.

Work...I thought no four letter words on this blog ?
If I can control myself, so can you.

haraz31 said...

Al very funny and eli thanks for making it SO Clear what Al was doing.

wario said...

al your still looking in the rear view mirror??

Skeptic Al said...

Haraz31...I'm sure by opening day even YOU could have figured it out without Eli's help.

We need italics here in the worst way.

haraz31 said...

Right on Wario

Skeptic Al said...

Wario...No. It was a once in a lifetime event.

wario said...

like you playing baseball today??

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Lol. Al had at least one hit and came around to score. It was good to see Al handle second base alot better than a Mr. Luis Castillo could handle it.

Eli's Line:

8 Innings
2 Runs
9 Hits
E.R.A- 2.10

Eli's Batting Numbers:
4-4, 1 Run, 1 RBI, 2 Doubles.

Opening Day 2009!

Skeptic Al said...

Even that lefty charlatan pitching for the Yankees on opening day couldn't match Eli's numbers.

Skeptic Al said...

Eli a ball through my legs is not a hit. Don't feel compelled to take one for me, so to improve my chances for the gold glove award.

Ill probably get it anyways!

I feel worse than Louis Castillo right now!

Skeptic Al said...

Eli my scorecard says one walk. Sorry if that ruins your WHIP!

Eli From Brooklyn said...

2 walks actually, lol. That's okay... I'll take it. I try to "WHIP" it in there :)

Eli From Brooklyn said...

You were great, Al. (For all those who didn't realize: We played baseball today). Enjoy :)

Luigi said...

Correction: Eli went 5/5 with two doubles, two singles and a home run. 2 RBI's (the one he forgot was with the home run).

How modest.

OMARitis said...

NY SPICS (i think the reason is self-explanatory)

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Lol, that's so bad.

wario said...

is it WHIP or HHHWIP?? (see family guy)

Anonymous said...

quite interesting read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did any one learn that some chinese hacker had busted twitter yesterday again.