The Yankee Tears

Monday, March 30, 2009

Ever feel that you're the biggest die-hard fan that your team has got? Well, think again. Some fans are giving new meaning to the words "die-hard."

Ron Winslow, of the human race, writes:
A growing body of research suggests championship sporting events can be hazardous to the health of an obsessed fan -- especially when his or her team loses after a seesaw contest.

The latest evidence comes from a report showing that deaths, including heart-related deaths, increased in Los Angeles County during the two weeks following the 1980 Super Bowl. The underdog Los Angeles Rams lost that battle to the Pittsburgh Steelers in a game in which the lead changed seven times. By contrast, four years later, when the L.A. Raiders defeated the Washington Redskins by a lopsided score, deaths in L.A. fell.

Getting really emotionally involved in your team "can result in emotional stressors," says Robert A. Kloner, director of research at Good Samaritan Hospital, Los Angeles, and an expert in heart-attack triggers. "That isn't always good for the heart."

Last year, the New England Journal of Medicine similarly reported a spike in cardiac emergencies in 2006 in Germany on days when Germany played in the World Cup soccer tournament. Another study found a decline in deaths in France around the time its team won the 1998 World Cup.

After doing some research on the matter, I noticed that New York City's death toll increased dramatically in 2008. It flew up an extra 11% (above the city's average) in September 2008 and 8% in October 2008. Coincidence? I don't think so. Apparently, the Yankee fan is not coping too well with this new idea of losing. (No, it's not the Met fan. We've been dead since 1987).

The day the Mitchell Report came out informing the Yankee Nation that Roger Clemens and Andy Pettite took (only twice, lol) steroids? The Death Toll rose 4%.

The day the Yankees were officially eliminated from playoff contention in 2008 (for the first time in 13 years)? It rose 7%.

The night that the Red Sox won Game 7 in the 2004 ALCS? 45 stabbings / hit&runs / shootings were reported throughout the city resulting in 11 deaths.

No wonder the new Yankee Stadium seats a fewer amount of people; they're killing 'em off ever so slowly. I guess it's not so weird after all that StubHub is offering a free monument with every sale of two tickets.

But so much more has been killed away from an organization that claims to have so much "promise."

The day the Yankee fan found out that Alex Rodriquez took steroids? A-Rod died.

After the meeting in which Joe Torre was given a minuscule contract compared to what he had accomplished for the team? Pride and Appreciation were done away with.

The moment the Steinbrenners decided on Joba being a starter? Common sense had a heart attack.

Derek Jeter has lost his range. Jorge Posada can't throw potential base stealers out. They're still on the list of every-day'ers? Chosen blindness or keeping 'em to remember the better days?

The Yanks must face the facts. There are 2 other serious contenders who are able to take the AL East home with them. They can start singing "Rays, Rays, go away" or feebly attempt to wrap up Boston's Tea Party but even C.C. (Cold Cash) can't win you the other 4/5 games. Manager/Militant Joe is not the answer, nor can it be found in Jason Giambi's mustache.

Pride, Victories and Chemestry can't be bought in a store, Yankee fans, you know that, but, for now, the Rolaids, Mood Boosters and Aspirin are in Aisle 2009.

Good Luck With That.


wario said...

Eli great coverage once again….. You forgot to mention what happens when a team falls into poverty, and have to result to taking “BONDS” from the city…. Ever since the Yankees took “BONDS” from NY, this whole A-ROD STERIOD fiasco broke out like some wild epidemic…. Coincidence?? I THINK NOT!!

Moral of the story, the Yankees suck

DOVY said...

lets go yankees!!!

DOVY said...


Skeptic Al said...

HOLY COW! What thought provoking and comical analysis.

This spectacular post reminds of a great book I read a few years back...'The Bronx is Burning'.

Skeptic Al said...

...and I think the day after Wade Boggs rode that horse after the 96' world series victory...the horse died.

wario said...

(FYI)Yesterday, Mets GM Omar Minaya told reporters that he and his staff have essentially settled on an Opening Day roster, with only one spot in the bullpen and one spot on the bench left to be filled.

…in other words, as most fans, reporters and bloggers have been saying, the 25–man roster will likely be as follows:

Starters: Jose Reyes, Luis Castillo, David Wright, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, Ryan Church, Daniel Murphy and Brian Schneider.

Bench Players: Ramon Castro, Marlon Anderson, Alex Cora, Fernando Tatis, and Jeremy Reed.

Starting Pitchers: Johan Santana, Mike Pelfrey, John Maine and Oliver Perez.

Bullpen: Francisco Rodriguez, J.J. Putz, Pedro Feliciano, Sean Green, Robert Parnell, and Darren O’Day.

The final two spots will likely be Nick Evans on the bench, and one of Brian Stokes or Elmer Dessens, with Tim Redding on the disabled list.

Then, on April 11, Evans will likely be demoted to make room for Livan Hernandez, who will slot in as the fifth starter.

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Lol, Al. Just checked it up on the ever so reliable Wikipedia: The horse did die and after the gnats chewed up its decaying body - they were off to Cleveland to mess with Joba. (Sure they were from the lake... That's what they want you to believe).

Wario: Great Stuff! Except the Luis Castillo part. Oh, and I want a real catcher. Not the fake type.

wario said...

eli great stuff back to you

wario said...
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wario said...
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Eli From Brooklyn said...

Wario has removed the two previous posts since its content will be in tonight's blog.

Good Work, as usual, Wario.

wario said...

thanks cap'in

wario said...

"you pay me well, therefore i serve you well"

wario said...

(that Alfonzo, the waiter at my pizza shop. not to confused with skeptic al)

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Al does not receive any money from this site but for all our harsh remarks that we have thrown at him and jabbed at his heart - we oughtta compensate him with tickets to Opening Day (to the local bar). Moo ha ha (evil Brooklyn laugh).

Eli From Brooklyn said...

(that Al is the Skeptic Al who was forced into hibernation from all our knocks directed to him. Not to be confused with Al Sharpton)

wario said...

O I thought it was Weird Al Yankovic....
who was recently seen being played on Al Jeezera …….

Skeptic Al said...

Eli...Il be waiting for those tickets in the mail. Don't dissapoint me as u have in the past. BTW it's the back of the 42 cent Marilyn Monroe stamp that gets licked...not the front.

Wario...reading your comments is as boring as watching paint dry.

Moo ha ha (evil Brooklyn laugh).

- Al

Eli From Brooklyn said...

If that is the comparison then I will be watching paint dry for years to come. It must be pretty entertaining (and faithful to the blog, unlike A-L). Thanks for e/t, Wario.

Skeptic Al said...

Wario...Just Kidding!!!!!:)

wario said...

o AL your humor is always welcome... and this is what i have to do in order to get your attention

Luigi said...

We have finally found out that the second letter of AL's name is not an L. Its a D. AD and his last name is D. A-D-D! But we cured ADD. Good job Wario.

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Good one, Luigi!

wario said...

al my jokes did suck cuz eli made me tame it down(clean jokes only) apparently there are kids on this site! who knew

Eli From Brooklyn said...

This is true. I did. Some of them are so funny but they're too harsh against ya, Al. Doing it for your own good.

Skeptic Al said...

Its good too see that there's more interest in me, than in Eli latest post.

No suprises there!

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Watch it, Al, watch it.