Getting Reel

Thursday, March 19, 2009

People have sent me emails telling me about the world of video blogging. I suppose that means getting behind a camera and discussing what I feel about the Mets. Excuse my french but that has got to be the nerdiest thing I have ever heard of. Who do they think they are? Evan Roberts? Yeah, he is the biggest nerd of 'em all. Don't believe me? Here is a 3 minute clip of the geek but I warn ya, stop watching after a half minute if you don't want to die a painful death filled with boredom and embarrassment from the red-haired hot-head.

Yeah, I told you it was bad. Don't quit your day job, Evan. (but between me and you - quit that also).

Then there are "video bloggers" who would use cruddy images or poor video and record their play-by-play speech as the footage rolls thinking they've classified themselves as film bloggers. Not as nerdy but it's up there.

Forget getting a job, that guy needs a life.

Our next video nut doesn't actually talk baseball, he acts baseball. Featured in a recent New York Times article, we present to you "The Batting Stance Guy." He can act out any player from any team and show you his literal batting stance. He is pretty accurate and probably pretty lonely.

If you did watch the whole clip and heard a girl screaming "Daddy, Daddy" at the end of the clip, yeah, that was mere seconds before she so sadly took her own life out of fear of what would've been a life full of finger pointing and accusations on being "the batting nerd's daughter." For his next clip I'd love to see him get a beating with that plastic bat. Now that I would watch.

So I guess that's what video blogging is all about; showing the watching world that sometimes abortions might be a good thing. Nah, I'm just kidding. If we didn't have them, who would we make fun of? Thank you, Lonely Batting Stance Guy.

Not to let my fans down, I thought I'd do a little video blogging myself. Not the actual thing but I considered compiling videos in which other people put together and are thinking the same thoughts that I am thinking. How convenient.

In this clip, Bart would be representing the Mets and Homer is us fans. It's dead on.

Told you.

In this next one, Meg represents the playoffs and the back up date guy are all the Mets players who don't want to have anything to do with post season games. Yeah, it's pretty drastic.

Not too far from the truth, eh?

About a few years ago, we went through a night of ups and downs. We discussed Endy's catch yesterday and I thought it would be wrong if we didn't bring up everything that happened that night or should I say "everything that didn't happen that night?" The makers of Carlos Beltran's bat will never know if it was defective. Mainly, because it was never used. Trouble remembering the scene? Here. Let me refresh your forgetful memory. (Warning: Get a blindfold and choke yourself with it).

But what if Beltran swung? What could have transpired if he had just taken the bat off his shoulder and flung it in the direction of the oncoming breaking ball? Well, since this is the 21st century, we can actually simulate an event and see the result of the at bat had one action been tweaked. The Swing.

Needless to say, this video is not on the open market and should not be publicized more than it already has been. Watch closely at what could have taken place...

I know what you are all thinking. "Thank God he didn't swing." True, he would've made us look even worse but going in the same route as the plastic bat beating, I'm not so sure I wouldn't want to have seen that occur. He would have the whole off season to heal up (ala Carlos Delgado and his wrist) so there wouldn't be any bruises come season time (excluding his ego, pride and backside. Yea, those Rico Moms are nuts. His mother would've gave it to him when he returned to Puerto Rico).

Okay, it's getting tense in here. I know just the thing to lighten the mood. How about watching a nice little clip of a Mets fan who fell asleep by a game and had most of the right field section watching him, instead of an ensuing collapse? Bring it on.

Oh, you should know that the fan in question was so drunk that he fell asleep and became oblivious to his surroundings. The other Mets fans didn’t let him have a peaceful sleep, as the video shows. By the end of the clip, hundreds of Mets fans were watching (and enjoying it). It happens to be hysterical. Enjoy...

The "High"-lights, or should I say "Passed-out-drunk"-lights, of this little adventure are sprinkled all around the video.

At 1:50 in, it's fun to see on the scoreboard that it's only the 4th inning and this man is already in LaLa Land. (Okay, okay, it was the second game of a double header but still...).

At 4:40 we hear the overly concerned fan say "Are we sure this guy's alive?" Nice of you to care, Saint.

At 7:47, we get to watch the most triumphant moment of a Mexican man's life. You go, Jose, you go.

At 9:08 - we hear the video taker's prophecy. It was fulfilled.

At 9:17 - we are reminded that every party has a pooper. Poop on you, Mr. Security Guard.

Ah, and this leads us to our final Met clip. Poop. If you don't know this next character, then, frankly, you don't know comedy. Triump "more for me to poop on" The Insult Comic Dog teamed up with Mr. Met at the 3rd and final Presidential Debate. To get right into the action, check him out at 3:42 into the clip.

I hope you enjoyed my very first video blog ever, as much as I did putting it together. Now go back to normal civilization and converse with regular people. I'm outta here.


Skeptic Al said...

Such valuable information. Who knew Met fans were as cruel as Met players. Who knew that Mr. Met was so dog friendly. Who actually remembered Wally Backman's batting stance. Who knew that a video of Adam Wainright breaking (our hearts) ball to Carlos Beltran still existed.

Eli after reading/watchin this post I dont know what Meg's so upset about. She should just ask you.

wario said...

Eli this is the most educational thing you have done thus far.. im am highly impressed with your skills..

THAT BATTING STANCE GUY DESERVES A BAT TO THE HEAD!! He is an embarrassment the "Metkind"(that’s my new word)... he probably wishes he could the things insult the comedy dog did to Mr. Met!!!

What a loser!!

Eli From Brooklyn said...

He is getting his own show or something like that so he might be a rich loser. Thanks for the kind words everyone :-) May you all be blessed.

haraz31 said...

who knew that video blogging could be so much fun

wario said...

eli knew

Skeptic Al said...

Was that John Glavine who threw 3 innings of 3 hit, no-run baseball, against the NY Mets.

haraz31 said...

who is John Glavine?
a hybrid of Tom Glavine and John Smoltz

Skeptic Al said...

good q...thought I was off with

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Did you mean Tom Glavine?

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Watching Beltran get hit in the face (days after this blog went up) and I'm thinking: If that was the pitch and Beltran didn't swing then he'd have a smashed up face and we'd have a run coming in.

What a moron.