The Yankee Tears

.
Ever feel that you're the biggest die-hard fan that your team has got? Well, think again. Some fans are giving new meaning to the words "die-hard."

Ron Winslow, of the human race, writes:

A growing body of research suggests championship sporting events can be hazardous to the health of an obsessed fan -- especially when his or her team loses after a seesaw contest.

The latest evidence comes from a report showing that deaths, including heart-related deaths, increased in Los Angeles County during the two weeks following the 1980 Super Bowl. The underdog Los Angeles Rams lost that battle to the Pittsburgh Steelers in a game in which the lead changed seven times. By contrast, four years later, when the L.A. Raiders defeated the Washington Redskins by a lopsided score, deaths in L.A. fell.



Getting really emotionally involved in your team "can result in emotional stressors," says Robert A. Kloner, director of research at Good Samaritan Hospital, Los Angeles, and an expert in heart-attack triggers. "That isn't always good for the heart."

Last year, the New England Journal of Medicine similarly reported a spike in cardiac emergencies in 2006 in Germany on days when Germany played in the World Cup soccer tournament. Another study found a decline in deaths in France around the time its team won the 1998 World Cup.

After doing some research on the matter, I noticed that New York City's death toll increased dramatically in 2008. It flew up an extra 11% (above the city's average) in September 2008 and 8% in October 2008. Coincidence? I don't think so. Apparently, the Yankee fan is not coping too well with this new idea of losing. (No, it's not the Met fan. We've been dead since 1987).

The day the Mitchell Report came out informing the Yankee Nation that Roger Clemens and Andy Pettite took (only twice, lol) steroids? The Death Toll rose 4%.

The day the Yankees were officially eliminated from playoff contention in 2008 (for the first time in 13 years)? It rose 7%.

The night that the Red Sox won Game 7 in the 2004 ALCS? 45 stabbings / hit&runs / shootings were reported throughout the city resulting in 11 deaths.

No wonder the new Yankee Stadium seats a fewer amount of people; they're killing 'em off ever so slowly. I guess it's not so weird after all that StubHub is offering a free monument with every sale of two tickets.

But so much more has been killed away from an organization that claims to have so much "promise."

The day the Yankee fan found out that Alex Rodriquez took steroids? A-Rod died.

After the meeting in which Joe Torre was given a minuscule contract compared to what he had accomplished for the team? Pride and Appreciation were done away with.

The moment the Steinbrenners decided on Joba being a starter? Common sense had a heart attack.

Derek Jeter has lost his range. Jorge Posada can't throw potential base stealers out. They're still on the list of every-day'ers? Chosen blindness or keeping 'em to remember the better days?

The Yanks must face the facts. There are 2 other serious contenders who are able to take the AL East home with them. They can start singing "Rays, Rays, go away" or feebly attempt to wrap up Boston's Tea Party but even C.C. (Cold Cash) can't win you the other 4/5 games. Manager/Militant Joe is not the answer, nor can it be found in Jason Giambi's mustache.

Pride, Victories and Chemestry can't be bought in a store, Yankee fans, you know that, but, for now, the Rolaids, Mood Boosters and Aspirin are in Aisle 2009.

Good Luck With That.