An Angel and a Church - The Gory Version

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Yawn... It's late. Do games on the west coast really have to go 11 innings? More than that, do games on the west coast that go 11 innings really have to end with the Mets losing in miserable fashion?

Chaos 101.

Let's go quickly through the high-low-lights: Randy Wolf opened the game up with a strike. Jeremy Reed threw wildly to the plate. Dodgers win. Okay, we're done.

Many of the players tonight have been interviewed by beat reporters out here in L.A. but Eli was able to get a few words with those that made the biggest difference.

Eli sat down with Ryan Church's right cleat and wasn't afraid to ask the tough questions:

Eli: Thanks for taking the time. I know your going through a tough post game experience right now but let me ask you... what happened out there? How'd you miss the 3rd base bag? Don't you guys work on this stuff in spring training? This is the basics!

Ryan's Right Cleat: No Comment

Eli: You must be missing the point here. That's okay. It's not the first thing you've missed tonight.

RRC: (Starts to fidget around... Could be due to the fact that Ryan is getting asked similar questions by beat reporters six feet above this interview with his shoe... Morons, the real culprit is down here)...

Eli: Well, thanks for your time. Send regards to the floor of the dugout tomorrow night. After all, that's where you'll be residing.

RCC: (Utter Silence...Gives "Dirt"y Looks)

Moving down the line in the clubhouse, Eli spots Angel Pagan; the Culprit.

Eli: Uh, Angel. Can I have a word?

Angel: Sure... I'll give you three... Use them wisely.

Eli thinks to himself, "Hmm, which 3 words should I choose? So many words. Well, being that Angel Pagan is of Puerto Rican descent, perhaps I should teach him a few English words."

And with that thought in mind:

Eli: "I Got It" - When Beltran says this, you run. Run as fast as you can. Away.

So basically, to sum it all up:

Cable Tv: $65

Ryan Church Jersey: $25

Scissors: $7

Cutting up my Church Jersey with a brand new pair of scissors as I kickbox my TV to smokes: Yeah... You get the point...

(Editor's Note: Ironically, on January 21st, 2009, the Mets avoided salary arbitration with 2 outfielders. They signed them each to one year contracts. Too bad we didn't have a clause in it stating that they both can't play on May 18th. It's just too bad.)


wario said...

enough blunders for one game.
Redding look solid thogh.

Eli From Brooklyn said...

I'll give you that. Redding had a rough start but settled down allowing 2 runs in 6 innings. This is what Joba does and the Yankees are ecstatic. We'll take it, Tim.

manuels dogg house said...

we are running out of options at alot of positions.... we dont have enough bait to make a trade!
o eli, what are our options??

Eli From Brooklyn said...

They still haven't put Wright at first and Tatis hasn't pitched. Other than that - we're out of choices.... oh new blog post idea... thanks manuels dogg house!

miked up piazza said...

i would trade churh and even murphy for a quality guy. Lets look at the stuggeling A's who might want to unload some salary and star power, like a matt holliday or a jack cust.. heck ill even throw in nick evens and green... holliday is stuggeling, maybe he needs out!!

manuels dogg house said...

no problem, its a pleasure to be apart of this blog!! ive heard great things about you!

Eli From Brooklyn said...

I don't want M. Holliday. He played well in Colorado and that is not a sign any which way. Evans has no value now. Green is our scapegoat - we need some of those. Church and Murphy I'd trade for a quality guy. Would you trade them for Johnson? I wouldn't.

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Thanks, Manuel.

wario said...

who is johnson?

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Nick Johnson...

wario said...

no no no, were not looking for more players to add to the DL!!!!
the opposite!

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Lol... agreed.