We Need A Shavior!

Monday, May 4, 2009

We have all read the reports recently on how Omar Minaya stated that the team lacks an edge. Bloggers everywhere quickly jotted down their thoughts and posts were published by the dozen. "How can he say such a thing? Where is his 'believe'?". But Mets Underground sat down with Omar for a Sunday brunch (being that the game was postponed) and discovered that Omar was right on the money - the Mets do lack an edge.

In 2007, it was easy to see that the Mets had an "edge". No, not 2006. We're talking 2007.

A few days less than exactly 2 years ago, the Mets were playing a 3 game series against the Giants in San Francisco. There was a big buzz going on in the Mets' clubhouse — as in Carlos Beltran cutting hair for some good old fashioned team bonding.

Omar began to get nostalgic as he remembered the day the team all had their "edge". "Players pulled out their "Edge razors" and gave themselves crew cuts to establish, not only to others teams, but to themselves, that through their close bonding - they had an edge."

"Let me see, shave it! Let's go, come on!" one player yelled at a teammate in the bathroom area, where a long line formed as players watched one another and waited their turns for Beltran to do his thing. Julio Franco had the job of shaving Beltran's head.

"I don't think it was any one guy's idea," third baseman David Wright said, showing off his new extra-short 'do. "Just as a team, we thought about it, got clippers and started doing it. We're trying to get everyone to do it."

And almost everybody did. Besides for shortstop Jose Reyes - who didn't, we had relievers Aaron Heilman and Aaron Sele and pitching coach Rick Peterson - whom did. Manager Willie Randolph closely monitored the entire operation. His hair was already trimmed close to the head.

Tom Glavine got a special reprieve simply because he was pitching, though the left-hander said he was in no way against doing something silly in order to bring players closer. "It's not part of my pre-game ritual," he said. (We all know what happened to Tom on the last day of the 2007 season; so much for not needing an "edge". Oh, and in regards to Heilman, Sele, Peterson and Randolph, an "edge" obviously wasn't enough to save their jobs).

A freshly shorn Shawn Green, the Mets' right fielder (not the new Sean "Kenny Rogers" Green who relieves for us today), walked out for batting practice sporting a stunned look — his dark curly locks were completely gone.

As Omar finished recalling the story, he wiped away a tear. "All those people out there who misconstrue each and everything that a General Manager says should just remember to actually think and read into what we say. There is always a deeper meaning, as is the case today. The Mets lack that "edge," the feeling of closeness, and what it means to be a team. The Yanks have been lacking that "edge" for years (Do Not See: "Jason Giambi's Mustache and Why It Represents Selflessness") thinking they can buy their way to the top. Really, the only top they reach is on the list of teams with the most expensive payrolls."

So for all of you fans out there who began calling for Minaya's job recently, just remember - maybe he's right. Maybe all the Mets need is an "edge".

A.K.A. - Team Unity.


wario said...

Maybe the Mets should do the commercial instead of Jeter!

Skeptic Al said...

Mustaches do represent resposibility. Just ask Peter Grifin.


Skeptic Al said...

Eli...you penned a great piece (again)!

We can always count on you for the insighful and humorous analysis not merely the game recap.

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Lol, Al. Great video connection with the mustache and the blog post.

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

After all, most of those other Met Blogs put the C-R-A-* in Recap.

wario said...


Eli From Brooklyn said...

Next blog post coming quite soon. Be ready people...