Da Da Da Dum Dum Dum - CHARGE ($$$)

Sunday, May 31, 2009

.
We all know 718-507-TIXX is the number to call if a fan wants to purchase a few Mets' Tickets... but which number does that same fan call to get his money back?

Let Me Explain:

On Friday, May 29th, a fan calls up the box office to order 2 tickets behind the dugout, costing him $450. "Why not?" he tells himself, "the Mets are playing wonderful baseball and I'll be able to show my son the stars of the future." (Mind you, he's been saving up for this very special occasion). Sounds like an excellent deal for one of the world's greatest fans.

Or so you think.

On Saturday, May 30th, this very fan is holding the hand of his 7 year old son, as they both walk through Citi Field's Rotunda. "You'll see 'em all, Bobby, the players I've been telling you 'bout! The Joe DiMaggio's and the Babe Ruth's of today!" Bobby begins to hop excitedly at just the idea of seeing anyone close to whom his Grandpa had seen as a child. "This sure will be a day to remember," Bobby thinks to himself.

As the first view of freshly cut grass comes into site, Bobby can't help but try to read the back of the player's uniforms as they line up to take their turn in batting practice, "there's Val... Val... Val...," "Valdez," Bobby's dad says as he settles down in his chair, "he's new on the team."

"But where are the players Grandpa has been telling me about? Where's Omir Santos? Where is David Wright? How about Mr. Sheffield?"

"Oh them? They're probably going to bat in a few minutes. They're trying to give the less-played guys a chance to hit first."

"Oh, okay, Dad, thanks."

But alas, unfortunately for poor Bobby (and on a similar account, his considerably less rich Daddy) the Wright's and the Sheffield's were merely dugout decorations on that fateful Saturday. What an anti-climactic piece to a story that had such potential and bright future.

Too bad it's not labeled "Fiction."

Anyone who attended Saturday's game did a double glance at the lineup board.

1. Angel Pagan, LF
2. Fernando Martinez, RF
3. Carlos Beltran, CF
4. Fernando Tatis, 3B
5. Daniel Murphy, 1B
6. Ramon Martinez, 2B
7. Brian Schneider, C
8. Wilson Valdez, SS
9. Tim Redding, RHP

WHO?!?

If teams are going to sport their Triple A roster then they must start charging the fans accordingly. Even the one bright spot in the lineup (Carlos Beltran) left the game early with a stomach virus. Maybe he couldn't stomach the Wilpon's thought process when they went forth in charging $250 dollars for an above-average seat in order to see a below-average team?

The only thing sadder than this is what went through Tony Paige's mind tonight as he gave over his sagely thoughts on WFAN.

"Jerry Manuel knew the Mets stood no chance against Josh Johnson. Johnson owns the Mets so he figured 'why not throw the backups on the field'? They were gonna lose the game anyway."

Uh, Paige, the only thing that's lost is your mind and the time we actually spend listening to you.

LONG LIVE BOBBY AND HIS DAD!

3 comments:

Joe Z said...

I totally agree, Eli. I get nauseous even thinking about it. Mail this post to Omar - a million times over.

Sick!

Skeptic Al said...

Major League Baseball teams scaled back spending on free agents this winter, forcing some veteran players to take pay cuts or look for employment elsewhere. As it turns out, this big-league cost-cutting has been a major boon for the Newark Bears -- a group of former all-stars and fantasy has-beens who've gathered in New Jersey to try to prove they're not washed up.
Newark Bears skipper Tim Raines
The Bears play in the Atlantic League, an independent minor league that has become a haven for past-their-prime major leaguers (see Henderson, Rickey) and prospects who never lived up to the hype. The team went bankrupt last season, but under new ownership has stockpiled what is, according to the team, the most experienced independent team in baseball history. Fifteen players on the Bears' current roster have big-league experience.

Newark Manager Tim Raines is just one of the faces fans who spend $10 on a box seat might recognize. Former All-Star Carl Everett is the team's best hitter -- he leads the Atlantic League in both on-base percentage (.488) and slugging (.596). Former Red Sox hero Keith Foulke (1.84 ERA) is the closer, and he's being set up by the well-traveled Armando Benitez, who's yet to surrender an earned run this year. Fantasy league washouts like Jay Gibbons and Shawn Chacon round out the roster.

The Good News Bears?
Skipper Tim Raines leads a bunch of major league has-beens now playing for the Newark Bears of the independent Atlantic League. Here are a few former standouts putting up big numbers:

NEWARK STAR CAREER NUMBERS NEWARK NUMBERS
Carl Everett .271 AVG .364 AVG
Keith Foulke 4.06 ERA 1.84 ERA
Armando Benitez 10.93 K/9 12.00 K/9
Together they've helped the Bears to a 18-12 record through Wednesday and first place in their division. The Bears are drawing nearly 2,000 fans a game on average -- and according to the team, a fair number of scouts. Perhaps the road to baseball salvation begins in Newark?

—Dave Cameron
Printed in The Wall Street Journal, page D10 May 28

Eli From Brooklyn said...

I happened to see that article. Pretty funny how it costs in the hundreds to see Triple A players but it's a matter of 10 bucks to see big names play the game we all have come to love.

Boo on you, MLB.