Driving Fred Up The Wall

Thursday, April 30, 2009

As Seen on Fantasy Hardball:

TECHNOLOGY is a blessing. It can provide up-to-the-minute real-time information about the world around you.

But what happens when you don't want to believe what it tells you?

Take, for example, the Mets owner Fred Wilpon.

There he was, checking out the stock market and befriending every left-handed reliever he knew on Facebook, when a strange thing happened to him.

He was scrolling down his notifications when he saw this...

This came as a bit of a surprise to Fred. He didn't think he was friends with Doc and he wasn't entirely sure just what his Facebook wall was, how to use it, or even how to send him a message back.

"That's ok," he thought. "I'll probably bump in to him near the pre-game buffet."

And so his day went. Largely unspectacular and with little to note.

But then, things went back to being perculiar...

Missed text messages. Voicemails were left for him. Urgent faxes.

They all pointed him in the direction of the Ebbets Club - a restaurant inside the new Citi Field.

Let's just say he was not amused with what he saw when he arrived...

Yeah, you could say the boss was surprised:

But it's OK, Fred. Things could have been so much worse. Just imagine what people could have wrote...

Or this...

Or maybe this...

Or simply...

Lighten up, you boys in the back. Having Doc sign our wall isn't a terrible thing. It'll be part of our history and it will be something that fans will come to see.

I'm already salivating at the thought of seeing messages from Carter, Seaver, Mookie, Strawberry, Piazza and Wright. Aren't you?


PoorJohan said...

Isn't it interesting how Wang has the same handwriting as Jody Gerut? What are the chances!

Joe Smith 1989 said...

I believe it's done with computer. Yea, computer.

haraz31 said...

Why is Putz looking like heilman so much

Skeptic Al said...

Hey Haraz...Stop picking on people. Actually they look nothing like each other.

One is an overweight red headed clown, the other has 2 wins to 0 losses and a 0.82 ERA!

So much for that.

Skeptic Al said...

No one has or ever will replicate the 84-86 Doc Gooden stretch. The numbers were staggering!

It's a shame cocaine got in the way. Or maybe cocaine was what gave him those years.

Sure his buddy Darryl can shed some light.

haraz31 said...

Al good point about heilman
i would like to know why would you trade a disgruntled reliver who wants to start (when you have a need for starting pitching) for a reliver who we might start hearing is disgruntled bec he would like to close (when you just signed the best young closer in the game today)

wario said...

Haraz is that a serious question?

You would have kept him to be a starter??

Are you on the same crack Dwight was and probably sill is on?

Eli From Brooklyn said...


I agree with a point Haraz made. I would have kept Heilman and let him start. It could've redeemed him and we might have gotten a starting pitcher out of it. But like Heathe Belle, he needed a scene change.

Oh, and yes, Haraz, Green is looking more and more like Heilman. But what is Manuel's infatuation with the man? He has him pitching, what seems like, EVERY GAME!

Either way, maybe Green should've taken Heilman's number.

For now, Green is pitching the way number 2 smells.

haraz31 said...


Eli From Brooklyn said...

...maybe Willie should've made him a starter the year he tinkered with Solar, Williams and Lima... Or nah, he was useful in the bullpen then.


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