Bad Baseball 101

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

How often do you see a pitcher throw just one pitch in a game, get two outs and become the winning pitcher? Not very often. Congratulations, Jason Motte.

How often do you see a batter lead off the inning with a hit, only to be pulled for a pinch hitter later that very inning before returning to the plate? Not very often. You pulled it off, Todd Wellemeyer.

How often does a pitcher in his first ever appearance with his new team come in with the bases loaded and throw 4 consecutive balls to bring home the tying run? Not very often. You're not welcome here, Casey Fossum.

How often does an employee, who makes $18.5 million that year, choose not to get his working clothes dirty and believes he can score without actually sliding? Not very often. You're something else, Carlos Beltran.

How often does it seem that your team is headed for an easy night only to lose in never-before-seen fashion and break your heart in the passing? WAY TOO OFTEN. Thanks for nothing, New York Mets.

The team looks like they're in mid September form, with Daniel Murphy slipping, sliding, erroring, and along with Beltran and Oliver Perez, costing us the game.

Every time I look over at the dugout I expect to see Willie Randolph with his hands in his pocket. If the Mets can't start to get something going (for the full 9 inning game) then it's time for someone to light a fire under their, and excuse my french, tuchas.

Beltran should, undoubtedly, be benched.

Perez should see jail time for the robbery he pulled on the Wilpons this off season (36 MILLION!?).

Murphy should take a trip to Modell's and perhaps buy himself another glove. It wouldn't hurt to have two of 'em on out there because from the looks of it - he sure can use the help.

And as for the fans, take notice, seats with an obstructed view can be a...



wario said...

As I watched the game last night I can’t help but notice that Mr. Beltran is allergic to playing against St. Louis. I was fuming!!

The game was in our pocket but the miscues came back later to haunt us. We knew what we were getting ourselves into when we agreed to have Murphy play left, so those bad plays weren’t a shock, but lets hope the reason he is here (his bat) will make up for it.

Skeptic Al said...

Mets in 3rd place as I predicted. Folks it's all about heart. This teams got no heart!

Call me when and if their in the playoff's!

Skeptic Al said...

Met's woes aside... I salute you Eli for a very cute post.

Skeptic Al said...

Maybe, Carlos didnt want to hit the Earth too hard in honor of Earth Day ?

Now everything makes sense as to why he's such a wus - he must be a liberal.

Talking about liberals...Perez Hilton is fat stupid ugly loser! Go Mrs.Cali Go!

wario said...

Al was that this week’s issue of PEOPLE magazine?

Skeptic Al said...

Wario...nice try, but I dont read PEOPLE magazine or any of that other rags, so I wouldn't know.

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Um, Al, sorry to burst your bubble (again) but this is a Mets Blog. Leave your TMZ talk elsewhere.

Oh, and thanks for the kind words.

The Mets need quality starting pitching, a great bullpen, smart base running - and ALL IN THE SAME SEASON, for heaven sakes.

wario said...

what the mets really need, is to not rely on beltran when its a close game with St Louy!!!

Eli From Brooklyn said...

Or to secretly poison Yadier Molina's steroid juice box...

That will also do.

Skeptic Al said...

People stop griping!

You were warned...when I was scorned!
Without heart... they were dead from the start.
Gripe not.. It is now your lot

Cant blame Willy...thats now kind of Silly
Accept the you can relax.
The Mets wont change...unless theres big-time re-arrange.

Luigi said...

Quite a poet...and you didn't even REALIZE.