Mike Pelfrey's Problem

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

What's really been bothering Mike Pelfrey?

Eli sat down today with the Big Pelf to discuss his recent poor outings and perhaps pinpoint why exactly kids these days don't want to be like Mike.

Pelfrey admitted to me that he just doesn't feel comfortable on the mound and he can't seem to see why.

"Is it your above average height?" asked Eli.

"No," responded Mike in his usual deep voice, "it's got nothing to do with that. It's probably just in my head."

After going over hundreds and hundreds of hours of film from this season (dating back to pre-season) the Eli/Mike duo were able to zero in on what's really been troubling the tall right hander. Funny thing is, it wasn't in his head; it was on it.

They discovered that Mike's cap was too tight after noticing an excessive amount of hat-fixing in spring training.

"You're a god-send, Eli" said Mike as he slipped into a new size 8 cap, "you truly saved my season."

Eli did not mention the fact that he also saved Big Pelf some cash since he was about to book airline tickets for a visit to Dr. James Andrews.

"Go do your thing now," Eli responded instead, "and for god sakes - stop licking your hand so much while on the mound; it's down-right disgusting."

...Dr. Eli is now working with another 14 members of the Mets' staff who are currently on the disabled list...